Monday, May 11, 2015

The good and the bad

Thinking back at this year in terms of my 20-time project, I have mixed feelings. I feel like in a way I let my expectations of the project got in the way of my actual actions. As the project was presented to me in the beginning I was pushed to think big, to follow my dreams and aspirations. I felt like I needed to impress someone, I wanted to be that inspirational student. I wanted to be the kid that made a difference. And in a way that is my passion, I do want to make a difference in the world. I do want to make a change. However, my reasoning was warped this year. I feel like I let myself down. 

Although I feel like I have let myself down, in a way I am still proud. I am proud of what I have done. Going to Costa Rica this summer is an accomplishment for me. Some people may think I am spoiled for going, and I understand where they would get that idea. But in my heart I know these experiences humble me. I know I am immensely blessed for having the opportunities to travel and see the world.

Even though this trip I will be centered around service work, I wanted to do more. This year I have been trying to figure out what other service project or fundraiser I could do to benefit the village I will be in, Nosara. The organization I will be traveling with has already given the children and adults of Nosara necessities and other gifts. I felt like there wasn't anymore I could do. After feeling like I didn't have a purpose I started thinking. I came to the realization I will be giving them the gift of my time and energy, but most of all they will be giving me the gift of the opportunity to experience different cultures, languages, and lifestyles. 

For me personally, this project was both a failure and a success. I failed in that I wasn't being selfless at the beginning. I was searching for a project that would be impressive. Though, it was a success because I realized that my passion is in helping others through travel and service.